why sometimes it's best to act silly

today is my 21th day working in malaysia and i still have 3 months and 7 days in this O&G department to be exact.. i would consider myself lucky coz other HO in different hospitals have to work longer hours with higher work load.. the hospital i'm working in is quite a small hospital with less number of beds..

well, everyone in the department know that i already finished my housemanship in UK and just have 2 more postings as HO.. the HOD, specialists and other MOs expect me to act, behave and work like a MO.. which causing me a lot of stress.. first of all, i'm very slow in thinking and acting, which explained by the 9 months of unemployment.. and this is a new enviroment to me.. it's very difficult when they expect me:

1) to know that we have to draw our own heparin in syringe for ABG? well, i'm used to ready-made ABG syringe

2) know where ppl keep the needle, syringe, ice, etc etc on the first week?

3) understand what they'r saying during ward round when they talk as if they just have laryngectomy.. i dun even ask them to speak in british accent!! just be clear.. 

4) O&G is a new thing, it's not the same thing with elderly medicine, GP or placement i've done before.. it's a new skills all together.. 

it's really sad, when they ask us to treat the patients as if they are our husband, father, mother etc etc but at the same time they treat their own colleague like shit.. [of course colleague of lower caste].. heavy workload is something i can cope with, but rude seniors who shout, scream and curse are different things all together.. after all we are all adult and we should behave like one.. 

Dobby, the house elf

i think most MOs/specialists  treat us, HO like a house elf.. if u'r harry potter fan, u should know dobby.. that how we've got treated.. no right whatsoever.. at the end of the day, i just smile and act silly just to get away with their behaviors.. there's no point in dwelling and thinking about it any further that the hospital's gate coz that's the only way for them to express their low self esteem and sense of power.. they'r used to it, it's in their blood.. 

ok, i need to get some sleep.. i'm working from 9pm to 2pm today.. nite nite